random firings across the synapses

coyote, lost and found

2012-01-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

this, from the lost and found:

the effing holidays

2011-12-15T20:50:00.001-08:00

namaste to all beings

2011-12-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

"namaste" is an acknowledgment of the divine spark in each of us, the soul in one recognizing the soul in the other. it is my fervent wish and intention, as we go through life, whatever it brings us, that this be the first thing we see in each other. let's treat each other as being the same light.

may the long time sun shine upon you,

all love surround you,

and the pure light within you

guide your way on.

--kundalini yoga blessing

coyote's hideaway

2011-11-29T14:58:00.000-08:00

what planet are you from?

2011-11-14T18:54:00.000-08:00

invitation to speculation

2011-11-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

i drive by this place several times a week, going to and from one of my teaching gigs.

the door going into this place has no identifying information. all it says is "not a public entrance."

well.

just what do they do in there?

is this a request? an observation? a prophecy? a command? a lament?

i invite your speculation.

shadow and light

2011-11-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

spooky, spooky

2011-10-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

go directly to 2:37 for the best part:

at the edge

2011-10-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

signs of the times, part 2

2011-10-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

cluck it

someone let a badger loose, but his

claws were wrapped around his camera.

no harm done.

been playing in the wrong casino

one of the two pace horses

nerds unite!

there's something wrong with this,

but i can't put my finger on it.

signs of the times

2011-10-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

i went to the occupy vegas march yesterday. it was well attended, orderly, peaceful, contained, and not much noticed in the national press. at least, not that i could find. in a town full of transients, i see it as a minor miracle that people showed up.

we marched up and down the fremont street experience, a closed area full of casinos, shops, and general vegas oddness. the crowd was paced by two mounted (yes, on horses) metro police officers.

the crowd was highly diverse, in age, political leaning, and opinion.
here's some of what i saw.

folks in wheelchairs

dogs

kids, of all ages

folks my age

activists in training

there will be more photos when i can stand to sit in front of the computer for a while again.

blogstipation

2011-09-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

i'm so far behind i can't see there from here.
ideas are clogging the neuro roadway, in a no passing zone.
i have blogs in the brain, backed up from here to next whenever.
the hamsters running between the synapses have collapsed, their little feet still twitching.
life has been like that.

so i give you this:

if you can listen to this and keep still, you're dead. i'll send flowers-dead ones, of course.

as i lay dreaming

2011-08-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

sedate me, daddy,

eight to the bar,

numb my guts

til my hair turns hoar frost white,

and my bones

melt into the street.

further fortune

2011-08-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

after my birthday post, i realized that i had never completely extricated the fortune. assumptions were made on what was visible, most of them wrong.
so i opened it up.

this is the way i've often done things in the past-
upside down and backward.

thought i'd try it this way this time.

the question is, which one?

fortune unfolding

2011-07-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

today i am 60.
i have not yet made peace with that.
it may take a while. maybe a year.

then again, maybe not.

impending

2011-07-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

i turn 60 two weeks from today.

i slide between amusement and dismay.

i did not expect to live this long,

i have but few words left for this song.

i turn 60 two weeks from today.

If I knew I was going to live this long,
I'd have taken better care of myself.
Mickey Mantle

Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.
Seneca

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.
Louis Kronenberger

shadows

2011-07-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

summer

2011-07-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

the snakes of summer are upon us.

beware the teeth of heat,

listen for the rattle of triple digits.
catch the sun
coiled on skin
scaled with sweat.

reach out

2011-06-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

this weekend, i had the unsurpassed pleasure of a visit by two of my oldest and dearest friends. my oldest and dearest met my newest and dearest. i witnessed as my worlds mixed and merged. i don't have the words to express the joy that i felt in those couple of days.

i have known these two women for something like 40 years. we have drifted in and out of daily interaction, inevitably reconnecting. i have no idea how long it's been since the three of us were together, all at once. i know that it had been too long.

we are all women accustomed to asking, and answering, the really tough questions. there are no off-limits areas. there is nothing that can't be asked. we speak our minds forthrightly. we have worked and played together, debated, laughed and cried hysterically, danced, sung, created, howled at the moon, made and demolished mountains of good food, critiqued our significant others (often in their presence). we don't hold back.
they have now gone back to their homes, spouses, projects, lives, apart from me, and yet still a part of me. i am bereft and connected, a very odd combination.

these are the people to whom i reach out when all hell breaks loose, as has been known to happen in our lives. these are the people who remind me to be the best of myself, even when i don't want to. they remind me of the possibility that we contain, in every waking moment.

so, maryellen and lee-ann, this is for you.

and so it begins

2011-06-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

wading pool

2011-06-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

extracting the light

2011-06-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

just for fun

2011-05-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

lizard thoughts, upon espying a penis

(spoken very quickly)

HEY! HEY! what is that?

where's the legs?

what's it doing?

wonder what it eats?

does it have a tongue?

maybe i can grow one.

i can grow other things.

naw, looks heavy.

awful big to drag around.

WHAT? it's leaking.

wait, it's going away.

damn.

shadow and chill

2011-05-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

slump

2011-05-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

there is nothing here

that makes me wish

i had known it sooner,

or loved it longer.

there is nothing here

that makes me shiver,

or dance like a fool.

there is nothing here

that i wouldn't trade

for a cat

and a pound of bacon.

there is nothing here.

the edges

2011-05-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

mysteriously, wonderfully,

i bid farewell to what goes,

i greet what comes;

for what comes cannot be denied,

and what goes cannot be detained.

--chuang-tzu

places and things

2011-05-05T16:11:00.000-07:00

swing it

2011-05-03T21:00:00.000-07:00

fire up

2011-04-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

and just for fun, to get really fired up:

bunny song

2011-04-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

for those of you celebrating easter, passover, spring, the wind, pollen presence, or anything that involves chocolate, go here:

youtube.com/watch?v=IS0T57GOwPo

you'll have to paste the link into your browser, otherwise it shows up as unavailable.
it's worth the trip!
happy bunny day, or some such stuff.

Edit: when i first put this up, i failed to mention that i have a history with song. i heard it about a zillion times, along with all the other then current veggie tales songs, when i was working with autistic kids. they're really funny, with some humor thrown in just for
the grownups watching. if you're interested, check out the other ones on youtube, especially "the pirates that don't do anything."

reflections

2011-04-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

bink, bink, bink

2011-04-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

courtesy of the erudite cramcake , i was reminded of the term used to describe the antics of rabbits. binking is when they frolic and cavort about, for no apparent reason. it's a bit frantic as well.

that is a pretty good description of my mode of operation for the last week and a half, with a bit more emphasis on the frantic. i've had so much adrenaline coursing through my veins, sleep has been a non-starter. i am having more fun than is probably allowed by law.

this whole process has been an exercise in "ask and ye shall receive." or even, "don't ask, you'll get it anyway." i've received multiple gifts of help, suggestions, label printing (my printer died, great timing), donations of materials, support in all forms. the other artists i've met have been, without exception, nice.
nice, in las vegas. who would have thought?
to everyone who has hung with me, and that's everyone i'm in any kind of contact with, THANK YOU. we don't do anything by ourselves, except maybe die, and i'm not sure about that.

it's also required that i change my perceptions about myself, my definition of myself. i've never, ever called myself an artist. it appears that i am, in the loosest sense of the term. i've never acknowledged my creative abilities, except in the area of teaching. now i have to. there's no denying it. i've always nurtured the creative in others, but not in myself. that's done, too.

there are all types of media represented in this gallery. painting of all kinds, drawing, altered art, fabric arts, stained glass, jewelry, etc. some of it is professional, some not so much. as i've looked, i've realized that, holy cow, my stuff is pretty damn good, for where i am in this process. i'm not bragging. i haven't seen what else is out there. i know this place is not representative of the art world at large, but, damn. i'm doing ok for my first public hanging :)

the photos are hung, and tagged with name and price. i don't like the way the tags look, so i may change them tomorrow morning, if i get inspired today! i need a chair for my space, so i don't have to stand for 8 hours. i need to pack a lunch of some kind. there's probably other things that haven't occurred to me. and take a nap. oh yes.

i'll have photos of the space tomorrow.

WOOHOO!

my contribution...

2011-04-02T09:58:00.000-07:00

...to national poetry month:

this
is a
poem
about
nothing.

the end.

BOING, BOING, BOING

2011-03-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

that's the sound of me making like tigger, bouncing around the room, off the walls, the ceiling, and anyone in my path.
why, you may well ask?

life just got very interesting, and extremely busy.
it's spring, and things are bursting forth.

here's the deal:

i'm am going to have a showing (well, me and 40 other artists) at an art space here in las vegas. my photos and rock art. yes. really.

AND I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T KEEP STILL!
i can't stop grinning.

this is the first time in my life that i will have had a public display of something creative that i've made (not counting the plays i've been in). maybe, just maybe, i'll sell something. that would be the frosting on the cookie!

the space is dinosaurs and roses.
it's a thrift store, unlike any i've ever been to.
for one thing, it's a non-profit, proceeds going to children's charities. the first floor is a very nice thrift, with clothes in small sizes, something of which i am truly appreciative. it's big, clean, and the folks that work are friendly. it's closed on saturday, because the owner of the building is a rabbi, and requires that shabbos be observed on his property. i like that, shows consistency and integrity of belief.

the second floor, ah, that's where the action is. it's divided into small studio spaces, where artists of any kind make and/or display their art. some of the work is definitely of professional quality, some not quite. the people i've met have been uniformly nice, and helpful beyond expectation.

all the studios are taken, so i've got wall space, and a lot of it. so much, in fact, that i am frantically printing and framing stuff, so that i can fill it. and, i have to paint the wall on which said stuff will be hanging, then hang it all.

did i mention i know nothing about hanging multiple things in an eye-catching, inviting display? holy crap, i have to price all that stuff too!

all this has to be done before april 10. that's the grand opening. the place is open now, but the spaces aren't completed yet.

so if you're in the area, drop in, 10-6, sunday, april 10.

(i haven't mentioned all the feelings this has stirred up, because i'm still in the middle of it. what stands out the most is that i feel confident, that i can pull this together, that i can handle people liking or not liking my stuff, that i can hold my own. more about all that later, when i settle down some.)

excuse me, while i go boing around a bit more!

out of the dark

2011-03-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

illusion

2011-03-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

trust the gods within,

accept given boons.

illusion is reality's border:

pierce fear to go beyond.

--365 tao, day 78

not all there

2011-03-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

hugging you, he said,

is like hugging a hologram.

not all there.

she blinked,

and disappeared.

playing around on fremont street

2011-03-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

fuck it, dude, let's go bowling.

well, wadda ya know...

2011-03-07T18:00:00.000-08:00

firstly, i apologize for the lateness of this post. i have no excuse other than, well, no excuse.

kass has received a well-deserved award!
(for some reason known only to blogger, it won't let me link. *snarl*)

kasscho.blogspot.com

and in her usual spirit of generosity, has passed said award on to me, among others.

thank you, my friend. it means a lot coming from you.

and here are the rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.

2. Share seven things about yourself.

3. Award up to 15 blogs that are deserving .

4. Contact those bloggers and let them know about the award.

seven things about me-hmmm.

1. when i was 23, i had a motorcycle, it got stolen.

2. i like to eat ice cream with chopsticks.

3. i hate cleaning bathrooms.

4. i trained as a birth assistant, and have attended several births.

5. i have an addiction to writing papers, pens, blank books, etc.

6. i can count to five in six languages.

7. i am currently discouraged about my photographic skills, or lack thereof.

and the drum roll, please...

i hereby extend the "i love this blog" award to:

mike, at

http://www.katabatikos.com/

jim, at

http://digitalexistencedailylife.blogspot.com/

and,

cramcake, at

http://cramcake.blogspot.com/

each of them is exemplary in their own way, and brings light

and laughter to the world. who could ask for more?

keep on blogging, one and all.

robert burns was right

2011-02-23T10:00:00.000-08:00

...The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley,...

--robert burns

burns, of course, was referring to having plowed over a mouse's nest. my day was not quite so traumatic.

yesterday i drove about 300 miles, only to arrive back where i started-home. this was not what i had intended. i had planned (ha!-such a silly word) on going to someplace i hadn't been before (did that), camping for the night (didn't), hiking again the next day (nope), and then coming home. i didn't even take any pictures, a rarity on any given day.

i went to kelso dunes, a place i hadn't yet visited. i hiked around a bit. the light was too harsh to shoot anything. in a stroke of unusual self-forgiveness, i forbore frustrating myself. i declined to attempt photographing something in difficult conditions, with insufficient skills, and a singular lack of patience. i looked around, said to myself, "self, don't get into this", and hiked on.

i then started the search for a suitable camping spot. the roads leading off the main drag were either too sandy or rutted for my decidedly non-off-road vehicle. neither getting stuck nor shredding the undercarriage of my car was on my to-do list, so i drove on.

i did find one place that was accessible. i parked, got out of the car, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. not a good sign. i was creeped out, felt like i was being watched, and not in a good way. back in the car. quickly.

i drove up and down that road, looking, looking. no luck.

some years ago, i discovered that i like to drive long distances. no destination needed, i just like to drive for hours. in the process of moving here, i drove across the country three times, often 10-12 hours a day. it satisfies a need for movement, for silence, for space for thought. perhaps i should get my cdl license and drive the big rigs! i write poems in my head, promptly forgetting them. i write posts-ditto. i wrote this one about 4 times yesterday, none bearing but the faintest resemblance to the finished work.

when my plan went agley, i started driving. back to kelso depot, then on to baker, where i saw things i'd never seen before.

like the alien jerky store.

i've wanted to see this place ever since i saw the first billboard for it.

now, really, who could resist?

sadly, it's not all that interesting, lots of jerky, hot sauces, nuts, candy, tourist gew gaws. the parking spaces in front are marked for alien parking only. i felt right at home.

then there's the bun boy motel.

i considered staying the night there, but just couldn't bring myself to it. after reading the reviews of the other 2 motels in baker, it would have been the best, if not the oddest, choice.

after touring the sights of baker, i ate a horrifically mediocre late lunch/early dinner. even the french fries were inedible. that's saying something, coming from a person who loves french fries in all their iterations. too full to think, i parked myself in the desert, watched the light change, and read until it got too dark.

i drove home.

i can't pass this up:

follow

2011-02-18T21:00:00.000-08:00

death is

the opposite

of time.

--365 tao, day 49

ghosts

2011-02-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

all our efforts are temporary. they borrow from preexisting forces, ride the current of natural events, and disappear according to the dictates of the situation. it is best to realize the transitory nature of things and work with it. understanding the world's ephemeral nature can be the biggest advantage of all.
--364 tao, day 47

white heart

2011-02-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

heartless flowers

2011-02-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

i choose the heartless flowers,
blatantly blooming, seducing.
they die,
strewing petal tracks
across my eyes.

lily lust

2011-02-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

rose remembered

2011-02-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

curves

2011-02-01T05:30:00.001-08:00

orientation

2011-01-31T06:00:00.000-08:00

planets orbit the sun.
forms orbit the mind.
--365 tao, day 31

like it is

2011-01-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

and may i say, aaron neville has it all.

like a rose

2011-01-22T14:00:00.000-08:00

the symbol is not the same as the reality.
--365 tao, day 22

yes

2011-01-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

i'm stealing from everyone today

2011-01-14T08:34:00.000-08:00

since i don't have an original idea in my head these days, i'm stealing from everyone and everywhere. if i find any more cool stuff, i'll add it as the day goes on.

this, courtesy of calamities of nature:

this, courtesy of lemmy caution, http://redcurtains.blogspot.com/

and this, from my friend izolda:

Morticia: And our credo: "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.

twisting around

2011-01-12T05:00:00.000-08:00

glitter

2011-01-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

there's glitter on my kitchen floor,
stardust on my ass,
the shimmer of the moonlight shines
off the dirty glass.

emerging

2011-01-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

thunder and rain at night.
growth comes with a shock.
expression and duration
appear in the first moment.
--day 6, 365 tao

sound

2011-01-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

wind in the cave:
movement in stillness.
power in silence.
--day 5
365 tao

reflection

2011-01-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

moon above water.
sit in solitude.
--day 4
365 tao

a request for 2011

2010-12-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

A Short Testament

by Anne Porter

Whatever harm I may have done
In all my life in all your wide creation
If I cannot repair it
I beg you to repair it,

And then there are all the wounded
The poor the deaf the lonely and the old
Whom I have roughly dismissed
As if I were not one of them.
Where I have wronged them by it
And cannot make amends
I ask you
To comfort them to overflowing,

And where there are lives I may have withered around me,
Or lives of strangers far or near
That I've destroyed in blind complicity,
And if I cannot find them
Or have no way to serve them,

Remember them. I beg you to remember them

When winter is over
And all your unimaginable promises
Burst into song on death's bare branches.

neither rhyme nor reason

2010-12-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

i want a photo opportunity,
i want a shot at redemption...
--you can call me al
paul simon

refuge

2010-12-24T13:09:00.000-08:00

red and green

2010-12-21T16:58:00.000-08:00

the audio isn't that good, but the one i wanted was embedding-disabled.

home again

2010-12-20T11:40:00.000-08:00

home

2010-12-19T15:00:00.000-08:00

RIP, captain

2010-12-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

breath

2010-12-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

do you want to know how spirituality works?
breathe.
--365 tao, day 351

death valley nights

2010-12-15T16:00:00.000-08:00

yesterdays

2010-12-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

curves in the dark

2010-12-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

because of the time change, and the winter-weary dark that has descended, i've lost the light in which i usually take photos. so i've been taking pictures in the dark. this, as you might suspect, is rather, um, frustrating. how do you find the light in the dark?

learning

2010-12-05T14:44:00.001-08:00

learning is the fountain of youth.
no matter how old you are,
you mustn't stop growing.
--365 tao, day 339

how old do you have to be?

2010-12-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

one might say that wisdom is not
simply a mental process
but the sum total of a human being.
--365 tao, day 336

any little song

2010-11-28T19:28:00.000-08:00

how, and for what, to be thankful

2010-11-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

i'm not a big fan of the pilgrims, but i am a big
fan of a day (that would be every day) dedicated to
being thankful for what we have.
'cause we have a lot.
here's a partial list.
feel free to add on.

it was a dark and stormy night

2010-11-21T19:25:00.000-08:00

the winds howled their greed,
the wolves howled their need,
the moon told them how.

eternity

2010-11-19T20:38:00.000-08:00

can i say this?
i don't know.
words are calving
from the iceberg that guards my heart.

ride the wave

2010-11-18T20:43:00.000-08:00

life's a gamble

2010-11-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

so deal already...

the white album II

2010-11-16T15:13:00.000-08:00

the white album

2010-11-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

i used to have a nova...

post-election musical melancholia

2010-11-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

yeee haaaa! monday!

2010-11-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

feed your head

2010-11-02T20:54:00.000-07:00

mojave wildlife

2010-11-01T20:27:00.001-07:00

swinging agave

bug out

mothra

tracks of the wild photographer

in between

2010-10-29T07:47:00.001-07:00

samhain, all hallow's eve, el dia de los muertos,
all soul's day, full moon,
dusk to dawn,

this is when the veil is thinnest,
when we can see beyond
our current frailties of perception.
dare we look?

now, if this doesn't twist a few perceptions, you are much too firmly entrenched in this reality:

core

2010-10-24T17:41:00.001-07:00

i do not need to pretend that i am anyone other than myself. i do not need to feel insecure about my perceptions. the self-cultivation that i undertake is to perfect who i am, not to become someone other than who i am.
--365 tao, day 297

solutions

2010-10-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

don't be afraid to explore;
without exploration there are no discoveries.
don't be afraid of partial solutions;
without the tentative there is no accomplishment.
--365 tao, day 295

lone pine wildlife

2010-10-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

this little one was sitting
in the middle of horseshoe meadow road,
not doing much,
not moving very well.
i shooed him off to the side.
hope s/he's ok.
kinda doubt it.

in case anyone has ever told you to go there...

2010-10-18T18:10:00.000-07:00

...it's this way:

completion

2010-10-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

only when the last spoke
has been fitted to the wheel,
is there completion.
--365 tao, day 287

morning, light

2010-10-10T13:49:00.001-07:00

which way

2010-10-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

reach out

2010-10-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

wrinkled

2010-10-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

i am wrinkled in time,
in place, in space, in face,
in mind, in eye.
my thoughts are wrinkled
against the wonder.

the aliens have landed

2010-09-27T17:29:00.001-07:00

the intruder

the mother ship

the captain

hmm, seems they were here all along...

what's on your bookshelf?

2010-09-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

my camera is still such a novelty that i will take photos of damn near anything. not that all the pictures are good, but they're in focus and the colors are pretty!
yesterday the light in the afternoon was falling onto one of my bookcases, so i snapped away.

then i wondered-what's on your bookshelf?

don't we all check out the books in someone's home? don't our visitors do the same?

this is by no means a complete cross section of my books. perhaps i'll do more later, if the light cooperates. there are 2 more bookcases. then there are the books stacked around the house...

slide smooth

2010-09-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

autumn equinox

2010-09-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

the autumnal equinox was a sight to behold.

hollowed out

2010-09-19T20:20:00.001-07:00

if we feel lonely, then it is only because we are forgetting how we are immersed in Tao. that is why loneliness can be an opportunity: it reminds us that we are dwelling on our own egotistic identity rather than on the support of the Tao.
--365 tao, day 262

see what is

2010-09-16T15:57:00.001-07:00

holding onto beliefs limits our experience of life. that doesn't mean that beliefs or opinions or ideas are a problem. it's the stubborn attitude of having to have things be a particular way, grasping onto our beliefs and opinions, that causes the problems. using your belief system this way creates a situation in which you choose to be blind instead of being able to see, to be deaf instead of being able to hear, to be dead rather than alive, asleep rather than awake.

as people who want to live a good, full, unrestricted, adventurous, real kind of life, there is concrete instruction we can follow: see what is. when you catch yourself grasping at beliefs or thoughts, just see what is. without calling your belief right or wrong, acknowledge it. see it clearly without judgment and let it go. come back to the present moment. from now until the moment of your death, you could do this.

--comfortable with uncertainty
pema chodron

unhappy tomatoes

2010-09-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

wanna bite?

2010-09-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

now i happen to love tomatoes...
but this song makes me laugh!